28th Sep 2021: Missing Our Little Moments Before Work

By Posted on
[08:42]

We met in the lift today. You look as good as ever. Memories of our private moments in the lift came flashing back.

Moments where you’d give me hugs and pats on the back before we start a long day. Moments where I’ll just lean in on you to have a quick charge up before we hold hands and walk to the office together.

Truth is, I miss you and our little moments a lot. It hurts so much to see you turn from my supply of love and warmth to someone who I can no longer lean in physically for support because that will make you comfortable.

[10:30]

I don’t know why, so many memories are rushing back to me now, mainly moments where I raged and said things I wish I can take them all back.

I wonder if there were things you said that you regretted too?

[17:45]

Today is one of those days where a lot of memories, regrets come rushing back. My whole morning to afternoon was filled with dark thoughts.

“You’re not good enough that’s why he stopped trying.”


“You’re a rejected good from a failed marriage.”


“You married young but what’s the point, you’re childless.”


“By the time you get married again you’re too old to have a kid.”


“Can your next relationship even last?”


“You’re the odd one out at the office”. 

Comments

Post a Comment

People like these from Chair...

06th Jan 2021: I Miss Dating

By Posted on
I miss the feeling of dating. As life becomes more overwhelmed with work and other commitments, the sparks of a relationship and the priority of it kinda gave way. I miss the late night dates. I miss the unexpected and playful kisses and touches. I miss the flirting on texts.
Read more

26th May 2022: Oh How the Flames Have Turned

By Posted on
Things are not getting better at all. I feel that I am losing grip of my life, like a puppet just being string along daily, by everyone and everything. I feel like a good for nothing who can do nothing right. Not even in things that I am interested in. Heck, I don’t even think I am getting the basics right, like breathing and even the use of vocal cords to talk or sing. At this point of time, I’m questioning why am I even on Earth and whether there’s any purpose for me to live on for. Practically speaking, I am just a waste of Earth’s resources because I am a good-for-nothing.  There was a point of time in life when I felt genuinely happy and felt contented. Now, I feel there’s no substance to my life — empty and just unhappy. Happiness seem unfamiliar, as though it’s a myth. I don’t know who I was, who I am. I don’t know what I wanna be. Dodo asked what do I wanna achieve, and the only thing I want to be now is happy. Len said I used to be cheerful and kind. Sweets said she saw me...
Read more

16th Sep 2019: My First Ever Resignation Letter

By Posted on
Image
Not much explanation is needed for the content of this post. After struggling for 9 months, yes, I have submitted the letter. The letter was first drafted last year, after I got to know of the promotion and pay raise that I did not have. Then subsequently revised a few more times to dampen the angst and steer it towards a more professional tone. Despite preparing for this moment for months, it was still a tough decision to make even until the point where I hit "Enter" to send it out. What am I going to do after submitting this letter? Will I be able to deal with the uncertainties. Where am I going to head to after my last day of work? Can I handle what is about to come? Amidst these myriads of thoughts, I still come to the same conclusion that this wasn't a rash decision and it was a careful choice that I have decided on albeit not the smartest one that I could have made. Between money and sanity, I chose the latter. Together with my dignity.
Read more