Chairchu's Journey

Insecurities have been filling up inside me recently. I woke up this morning feeling extremely affected by my dream. In my dream, Lotti was sharing a conversation Boss has on-going with her. He was ranting and ranting about how I have been performing badly. The same way he ranted about the ex Manager. Perhaps it's my karma for ranting about the ex Manager. Regardless, the dream is a reflection of how I have been truly feeling. Lotti and I are juggling with different projects at work. She is managing one big one that consists of many parties to liaise with. I am tasked with various small to medium projects to keep track of and follow up. Boss has been singing praises about how well Lotti is managing and has been giving her heavier responsibilities and managerial role. I'm really happy for her. Happy because she seems happier working here than her previous workplace. Happy because I didn't let Boss down by introducing Lotti to him. At the same time, I am also disappoi...

One of the missions in my life is to find a hair salon that I trust and go to. Shunji Matsuo at JEM was one that I recognised as my trusty hair salon. To my great disappointment, it's gone. T_T . Bye bye to Damien and Beyoncé from Shunji Matsuo. Maybe I'd get to see them again, or maybe not. Regardless, I was thankful I did. In the end, Lenson brought me to Kimage at Suntec. My next trusty hair salon. And I think I finally got the airy bangs I've always wanted. Since my forehead is flat, having a fringe would help to hide that flaw, but I've always disliked side fringe, straight bangs because it would get damn messy. Airy bangs are just so much lovessss! I feel like I just removed 2 years off my age. Of course, that's just my opinion and feeling. Loving it so far! Didn't cut my back hair though. I know I have to, because the ends are splitting soooooo badly. At the same time, I cannot bear to. Maybe after honeymoon...?

It's one of the busier days of working at this company honestly. So many things to handle, so much going on. So easy for something to slip out of mind. But if I'm not too hard on myself, I think I've got almost everything covered. Stayed back today with Lotti to ensure we've done everything we needed to before the both of us went off to Chinatown for dinner. One of the proudest things in  my life is to have friends who I can talk about anything to. Without judgement. And Lotti is one of them. That chat made me realise how childish I once were. Although at that point of time, my decisions and feelings were probably something I felt strongly with. To be honest, I'm at that stage in life where I don't know who to trust sometimes. I don't really have my guards up when I talk to people usually. So I don't mind sharing. Bad choice more than half the time. Hopefully, by 2018, I would once again recognise the handful of people I can always count on.

Back at Chijmes again! Lenson got parking discount ticket from the dinner yesterday that extends until today. We ate early dinner at Toast Box while finishing up the Extraordinary Homes on Netflix before heading to Raffles City. At Raffles City, he went to cut hair while I sat a a random spot and waited. It only took him a while before he was done. Haha guys cut hair so fast one. Walked a little at Raffles City and got some sample foundation from Clique. Not sure how good it will be but looking forward to actually using it! Work is gonna start again tomorrow omg haha. It feels like everything is just getting harder and harder...

Today is supposedly a happy occasion. What's there not to be happy about when we are celebrating the birthday of two old folks? At Lei Garden Chijmes, a pretty restaurant with good food, in the company of dear relatives? Cassandra Ong, Lenson's second aunt. That's why. Again and again I tried to figure, what have I ever done wrong to trigger her hostility towards me. Cassandra Ong and I only met for the first time after a year of dating. But the moment we met, she was already hostile towards me. First it was at the day trip to Malaysia for durians. Where her words kept containing pricks, jabbing at me about how I shouldn't eat at all if I don't like pork, or how I shouldn't sit because there were not enough chairs. And then it was on all other occasions where she either ignore me when I greeted her. Lenson said it was just her but of course I still felt unhappy about it. One thing I've always pride myself was being always respectful ...

Not long after my wedding, Siti messaged and congratulated me on Facebook. We talked quite a lot and decided we needed to catch up so we finalised on 05th Oct and met up after my work ended, at Astons Downtown East. Shaeyna was a little shy at first but she opened up quickly. Her smile is soooo contagious and she's so ever cheerful. My wish for her is that she will always be able to keep that genuine happiness. Over dessert, Shaeyna showed Lenson how to braid my hair. He surprisingly did not bad on first try! Guess Lenson can start braiding my hair from now on LOL. Quite some time ago, he said he'd try during our honeymoon at night when there's nothing to do. I am definitely looking forward to that. No guy that I have ever dated helped me braid my hair before, or maybe even helped me with my hair before. I'm not sure if Azriel might have tried to help me dry my hair though... But anyway, Lenson is the only guy who worked with my mum to tie my hair (for the NDC...

It's a mixed feeling. Happy because it's a checkpoint for my brother. A sign that indicates he has grown up and will do his part to protect the country. He seems prepared and it's definitely reassuring to us. Sad because it means he will be away from home most of the time. That means my parents will be on their own most of the time too since I am staying at Lenson's house. The tour around Tekong was something that I looked forward to and I'm glad I had the chance thanks to my brother. It was eye-opening, and made me respect our army even more. Respect is something I've always had for those serving the country in the army (excluding those who chao geng all the time). It's a tough period, taxing physically and an absolute test to the mind. While touring around Tekong, I heard visitors complaining about how they walked more than they sit. *rolls eyes* Did you think you come here for a holiday? Someone you care about is about to chiong sua e...