Chairchu's Journey

I was plagued with the habit of picking my nails throughout my life as long as I can remember. It stayed with me through primary, secondary school and all the way into my adult life even after graduating from university. While I was growing up, I tried so many methods to stop the picking habits. There were so many warnings and encouragements too. Methods such as sticking plasters over my nails, dipping them in weird stuff, putting transparent nail polish. Encouragements such as "if they can do it so can you, if you want to look pretty on your wedding day" and warnings such as "having such short nails give you adverse health effects". Needless to say, all those methods, encouragements and warnings did not work. It bothered me, each time I hang out with new friends. How do I shake hands with them without them noticing the short nails. It make me insecure in front of the guy I liked. How do we hold hands without him noticing this imperfection of mine. Throughout my lif...

It wasn't always like this, I have no idea why either. Perhaps it was the growth of social media feeding me of what beauty and perfection means. Perhaps it was just me feeling more self-conscious and wanting to age with no regrets. Why is it that other girls have pretty nails while I don’t even dare to show my hands and shake the hands of others? Why is it that other girls look so good in all their clothes while fats seem to be oozing through the tubes of whatever pants I put on? What is it that other girls have beautiful big eyes while my eyes look like a line in photographs? Why is it that other girls have such cheerful smiles when I look like I have a sunken face? Am I starting to sound superficial until this point? It probably is, but I don't want to be hence the thoughts that follow. Like many, I was conscious of my appearance to the point where I loathed looking at the mirror, at myself. However, I remain my stand that I know the image we see on social media and advertise...