25th Sep 2021: 是我还不够好

By Posted on
[11:53]

Yesterday, I made my own kimbap! With assistance. Hahaha.

Sometimes I feel okay.

Sometimes, I don’t feel okay at all. It feels that there were too many misunderstandings, too much miscommunication (or rather, lack of communication).

It hurts to feel like I have been given up on, that I have never been good enough for him. 

[13:06]

Me:
Have you seen the card that I wrote?
<refers to the anniversary card I passed him two days ago>

Him:
Ya. Nice card.

Me:
Ohh… Why didn’t you say anything?

Him:
Don’t know. Thank you for the card.
I didn’t prepare anything.

Hahhah. Silly boy. It’s not like I expected him to prepare anything given the circumstance. A “thank you” would have sufficed.

What do I do with all these pain.

Comments

Post a Comment

People like these from Chair...

06th Jan 2021: I Miss Dating

By Posted on
I miss the feeling of dating. As life becomes more overwhelmed with work and other commitments, the sparks of a relationship and the priority of it kinda gave way. I miss the late night dates. I miss the unexpected and playful kisses and touches. I miss the flirting on texts.
Read more

26th May 2022: Oh How the Flames Have Turned

By Posted on
Things are not getting better at all. I feel that I am losing grip of my life, like a puppet just being string along daily, by everyone and everything. I feel like a good for nothing who can do nothing right. Not even in things that I am interested in. Heck, I don’t even think I am getting the basics right, like breathing and even the use of vocal cords to talk or sing. At this point of time, I’m questioning why am I even on Earth and whether there’s any purpose for me to live on for. Practically speaking, I am just a waste of Earth’s resources because I am a good-for-nothing.  There was a point of time in life when I felt genuinely happy and felt contented. Now, I feel there’s no substance to my life — empty and just unhappy. Happiness seem unfamiliar, as though it’s a myth. I don’t know who I was, who I am. I don’t know what I wanna be. Dodo asked what do I wanna achieve, and the only thing I want to be now is happy. Len said I used to be cheerful and kind. Sweets said she saw me...
Read more

16th Sep 2019: My First Ever Resignation Letter

By Posted on
Image
Not much explanation is needed for the content of this post. After struggling for 9 months, yes, I have submitted the letter. The letter was first drafted last year, after I got to know of the promotion and pay raise that I did not have. Then subsequently revised a few more times to dampen the angst and steer it towards a more professional tone. Despite preparing for this moment for months, it was still a tough decision to make even until the point where I hit "Enter" to send it out. What am I going to do after submitting this letter? Will I be able to deal with the uncertainties. Where am I going to head to after my last day of work? Can I handle what is about to come? Amidst these myriads of thoughts, I still come to the same conclusion that this wasn't a rash decision and it was a careful choice that I have decided on albeit not the smartest one that I could have made. Between money and sanity, I chose the latter. Together with my dignity.
Read more